Thursday, November 16, 2006

i've realized riding the metro may be the most exciting part of my day

or, at least the most blogworthy. i have not yet decided how i feel about this realization. but i like to watch people, and there is no better place than a metro car for that pastime, ladies and gentlemen. so i think i'm ok with it.

let me tell you about last night's ride. first of all, you all know how i feel about balding. it's like aging, gentlemen. best if done gracefully. this man on the train last night ... he had a pretty substantial comb-over, which is a definite no-no. (unless you're carl levin or someone else who looks like ben franklin. then you can do whatever the hell you want. i love you carl!) but it was so much more than that. the wind had displaced (er ... mangled) his combover. it was sticking out, up, around, every which way. oh god it was hiLARious. (i have seriously got to get a camera phone, people. seriously.)

how am i not supposed to stare? i know it's rude, but you know what? so is a comb-over. hmph.

then ... just as i was recovering from the shock of this comb-over-gone-wild, this middle-aged, in-town-for-business, reeking-of-cheap-beer midwesterner siddles on up and plops into the seat perpendicular to mine. he looks at me and the cranky tired secretary sitting next to me, smiles, and says -

ladies.

if he'd had a cowboy hat, i'm sure he'd have tipped it.

what the ...

i'd love suggestions on how i should have responded (and don't bother commenting, with a confused look that says, "sir, we don't talk on the train. not to strangers. and not to strangers with ipods." followed by some pretend text-messaging to further avoid eye-contact. because i'm already all over that.)

1 comment:

Golden Silence said...

I would've said "Howdy, partner!" then rolled my eyes and laughed. And went on with my business (i.e., staring out a window or into space).

I agree that there are times that you don't want to talk to people on Metro (that's 90% of the time in my case), but there's that rare time when you see someone good-looking on the train and want to say something, but don't know what to say. (Half the time when I see someone cute on the train it is after my martial arts workout...when I look and feel a hot mess!)