metro monday

this is a new segment i'm starting to highlight the oddities of public transportation. B and i have started riding the metro into the city together in the mornings, and invariably we find ourselves silently laughing hysterically at one or more choice personalities.

i was concerned that the inaugural monday wouldn't provide any characters. but oh was i wrong. because danny devito was on the metro this morning. or maybe it just looked like him since i hadn't had any coffee yet.

first of all, he was balding. no big deal. but the choices he had made about his balding head were ... interesting. i could see from across the aisle that he had shaved those parts of the top of his head that were outside the perfect semi-circle of hair still left. my policy on balding is simple. if you are balding, shave your head. period. not shaving is squarely against my platform on balding. but shaving PARTS of it ... i hadn't even contemplated that as part of my policy on balding. now that i have seen it in real life, i'd like to announce shaving part of your head to sculpt the remaining hair line is also totally against my policies on balding.

also, he had on these straight-from-1982 black ray bans. he was wearing them in the metro, which i'm usually cool with, but was also reading his blackberry at the same time. don't people wear their shades on the trade to either sleep or people watch without detection? that was strange.

the suit - not much to say there ... it was wrinkled and too long. oh, the pants were cuffed. cuffed pants on men: also against my policies.

but the most mysterious thing about this strange man was what i saw on his attache case as i left. a VIP pass for the who.