Monday, November 20, 2006

metro monday iv: thanksgiving edition (who wants seconds??)

i'd forgotten how empty the trains are once late november rolls around. but don't worry, i still found not one, but two gems to pass along.

sitting in front of me (have i mentioned the train was empty?! a seat during rush hour? glorious) ... there's no way this man was married. i couldn't see to check for a ring ... i didn't notice mismatched socks, or a wrinkled shirt. no, no. i know this man was single because of his ear hair. my god was this amazing ear hair. it was coming out of every place ... short, long, curly ... seriously, there was one hair that was at least an inch and a half long. i promise you that's the truth. and it looked like he'd gotten a hair cut recently - couldn't they have taken a little off the ears? i usually associate incredible ear hair with much older men - this guy couldn't have been much older than 50. he was only barely graying around the temples (including the ears...) - if he had a wife, she'd never let him out of the house like that. i'm sorry, but it's true. the best part was that, a few minutes after i sat down, he reached up and touched his ear hair!!! for a minute i thought, dear god was i thinking about his ear hair outloud? was my inner dialogue, my first mental draft of this blog, actually coming out of my mouth? i don't think so, but i guess i can't be too sure.

specimen number two was a holiday classic. he was dressed like a six-year-old boy. he had the quintessential fugly wool holiday-ish sweater (looked handmade in the early 80s, but it didn't have a tree or a reindeer on it) with a turtleneck underneath and a wool cap. the sweater even looked like it was too big, the arms a little long, the collar a little wide ... like his big brother had thankfully grown out of that shit and passed it on to this sucker.

so all in all, a good metro monday. a seat, some good material for everyone, and i don't have to ride the train again until next monday! yay thanksgiving!!!


honeykbee said...

So unbelievably close to perfection-- if only the ear hair were on the holiday classic!

This was really, really funny nonetheless!

S said...

oh, thank god it wasn't the same person! no one would have believed me!

i'm really learning that if you pay attention on the metro, it rarely disappoints.