Thursday, August 31, 2006

the orange line

yesterday i saw a guy waiting for the train doing the robot. oh, sans ipod. no excuse (besides insanity). also, i saw a guy with straight up 1980s hairplugs. he also had a twitch. it was hot.

for these reasons, i enjoy the orange line. a nice blend of commuter and crazy. that's important. but, to metro, i must ask how the hell an extension of the orange line through tyson's and out to dulles will ever work. i mean, has anyone on this planning committee ever ridden the orange line? during any time between 7am-10am/3pm-9pm? you can't fit 14 more people on those trains during rush hour - let alone commutes from fucking tyson's corner! it's the dumbest thing i have ever heard of, and only take solace in knowing that by the time this ever materializes, i will hopefully have long parted from the orange line.

i think we should start a petition requiring that everyone working for wmata making more than $50,000/year MUST ride either the red or orange line during rush hour twice a week. i think we would see a marked increase in service and decrease in craptitude.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

it's been a hard day's night ...

this week sucks ass. that's right - i said it. i hate this week. i hope i never have to live this week again. if i wake up a la bill murray on last monday morning again next week, i will be seriously pissed. seriously.

i was so out of it last night that i actually got off the metro a stop early. which left my post-class metro-ing companion mighty confused. when i saw her today, she was like, you're an idiot and we can't be friends anymore. not outloud, but i definetly got that vibe.

anywoo, i actually got off the train and exited the turnstile before i in fact confirmed that i got off the train early. then i had to call B to come pick my ass up because there was no way i was waiting another 20 minutes for the train to go three quarters of a mile. he thought it was funny. or sad and desperate. then we split a bottle of wine, watched vh1's hottest rock girlfriends special, a little international house hunters, and called it a night.

well, that's that. to sum, this week sucks ass and sometimes during a particularly sucky ass week, i do stupid things like get off the train at the wrong time. and i like wine. that's this week.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

if you thought getting fenty and cropp to debate was a hassle ...

clearly this debate will never happen. but it's on my list of things i'd like to see if i ruled the world. also on that list: W having to go before congress a la the british house of commons.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

the past week has been a blur of new professors, inner tantrums over having to spend 7 hours on a sunday pouring over casebooks, walking far too many city blocks in heels and a suit - in dc in august, it's so cruel - and a handful of meetings with people who have real power to control my career for the next few years. and a stress level at my job that would make you think i'm already litigating cases with multi-million dollar implications.

i apologize to the few people i've managed to bore with the details of the summer job search. interviewing is so wrought with highs and lows (just today, i was riding high with a swift call-back, then brought back down by a curt rejection letter from a firm with which i thought i had an especially strong interview) ... i find myself looking for a reaction commenserate with what i should be getting from my folks, i think. try as i may, i can't seem to engage them in this part of my life. it should be my parents (in addition to the beloved B of course, who's been a real sport) calling after interviews, eager to celebrate a good response and tell those others to F off. but i didn't even get a weekend call to ask how the first five interviews went.

what's even more heartwrenching is that i know this isn't the end of the distance. when i was a musician, my parents could really connect with what i was doing. neither of them are musicians, but they could easily be involved just by coming to a concert. they could experience it. but it seems i can't even talk about law school with coming across as an elitist, so we drift.

excuse the lament!

anyway, B and i unwound this weekend as best we could ... which means, of course, we cooked. we may not have to again until next weekend ...

no, we do not have a family of five that we've been keeping secret. that's for the two of us.

Thursday, August 24, 2006


i don't even know where to start with this one. truly. i guess i'll start by saying ne'er will a forbes magazine be available chez moi. no, ma'am. this is a grave offense, the publishing of this article. (note that the counterpoint was added after the original article.) the one about how apparently my devoted, supporting and loving marriage is statistically headed for failure because in two short years i will 1. be making more than $30,000 and 2. more than my husband. really? is that so? or even if it's not statistically doomed, it won't be happy. i have a really hard time believing that...

and here all this time i thought it was gay marriage that was degrading the sanctity of marriage. turns out it's actually broads like me.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

trial by cable?

i am totally shocked by what i was just watching on CNN. (i know that i'm supposed to be doing homework and researching employers ... i know!) right there on national television, they were bringing in a handwriting expert to discuss the similarities between john mark karr's (aka the crazy guy who says he killed jonbenet) message in a high school yearbook and the ransom note left by jonbenet's killer.

what are the implications of this?!

ok, so say that this handwriting expert is qualified - fine. but we don't know that, and no one gets to challenge his/her credentials. think of all the potential jurors who are watching this. i assume a handwriting analysis would be part of a trial, if it comes to that. and who are those jurors going to believe, the person they saw on CNN, or the expert at trial? even if the jurors are committed to not letting anything besides the trial inform their decision, the damage may already be done, if these experts' opinions conflict.

i just think it's an outrage that news organizations are basically examining evidence in a case that may well go to trial, potentially contaminating an entire jury pool. shame on you, cnn.

i'm dreaming of ....

... working someplace where idiotic, unmotivated, ridiculous, totally unprofessional and juvenile employees are fired.

er, i guess juvenile and ridiculous may be asking a bit much. ok, just idiotic, unmotivated and totally unprofessional.

i'm doing all this research on the law firms with which i start interviewing tomorrow. i suppose, however, that when they ask me why i want to work there, i should not answer - because i don't think you hire and continue to employ for years total idiots. and i've looked at your dress code - black and pink puma sneakers are not allowed.

it's hard though to figure out exactly what i should be saying. really? i want to work in your office because the pay is great, you have a pretty office, and i have no idea where i want to work. oh, and your firm has commercials on NPR. i love NPR.

i'm going to be brilliant. i can tell.

ps. there's a mosquito in my apartment, and i've been stalking it all morning with no luck. and i keep thinking it's biting my foot, but it isn't. hmph.

Monday, August 21, 2006

one last blog before the summer dies

how is it only 9:15 and i've managed to go through all of my favorite websites, none of which have changed one iota since friday afternoon? hmph. so this is my last bastion of distraction before


i don't know whether i'm thrilled to be starting or scared to death. this semester is starting with a reading of three of the federalist papers, marbury v. madison (the case that won me B's heart, i'll tell that story later), and a look at the structure of the criminal law system. so much better than contracts and civil procedure ...

but this also means interviews (thankfully, a lot of them) - and while i'm excited about that, my stomach is already in knots over the first three on wednesday, and i fear the anxiety won't pass until i've received offer(s?) and made a decision.

i really do want to join the real world. i do. i want to work in a real job and make real money and not go to school. but at the same time: eek!

no time for eeking, though. james madison is calling my name.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

gots to get me one of these!

because i'm on team halpert.

file under: sad but true

someone posted this listing under the "buy and sell" forum on my law school's portal.

My Soul
Posted: 8/14/2006 1:30:49 AM By: ------------ Posted to: Buy and Sell
One slightly used soul for sale. Must sell quickly, as this is my last year of school and I’ll have to start repaying loans. Therefore, this is a reduced rate special that you DON’T want to miss! Inquire for further details...

Monday, August 14, 2006


i'll try to keep my famiglia matta out of the blog as much as possible ... but ...

so today i was talking to my mom on the phone (normal, awkward, forced conversation where she pretends to be slightly interested in what's going on in my life) and my dad asked who she was talking to.
she replied with my name, and he said, "who?"
mom: "our daughter!"
dad (snidely): "oh, we have a daughter?"
mom (awkwardly ignoring the tension): "oh, you know your dad. always being silly."
then i could hear her covering the mouthpiece of the phone so i couldn't understand the next snarky remark my dad made.

ok, seriously? this from the man who didn't even say hello to my husband when we drove 1200 miles to throw them a party? let alone thank you (to either of us). wtf. what i wouldn't give to hear my mom reply to one of those nasty comments, "you know, that's not nice" or even "gosh, i wonder why our kids think you're an ass!"

ranting over. i should go back to looking at golden retrievers in hats. a happy place.

pretty please?

man do i want a dog.

is it 1.20.09 yet?

this is georgie boy at his finest. and by finest, i mean, worst POTUS ever. a teaser to encourage you to read the whole bush quiz ....

17. What did George W. Bush say was “the best moment” during his years in the White House?
(a) “The first day I sat at my desk in the Oval Office and thought about all the history that happened there and realized that now it was my turn.”
(b) “When I caught a seven-and-a-half-pound largemouth bass on my lake.”
(c) “When they told me we caught Saddam in his hidey-hole.”

that's right. the bass. his best moment was catching a fish. excuse me whilst i shake my head in sorrow and disbelief.

Friday, August 11, 2006

SOOOOO not cool

someone tried to reset the password for my gmail account yesterday. wtf. that's not cool.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


today was the day i came closest to kicking "he who must not be named", aka craptastic boss (CB), in the groin. training a new employee that CB's incredible laziness should be catered to. oh, and that's a direct quote. working for this louse is a daily insult to my intellect.

all these things activities are being put ON NOTICE for their unfortunate association with CB.

it should be a consolation to me that in less than two years, CB will be just a memory, and the insult replaced by a job in a law firm where if i am treated like crap (though it will pale in comparison to this) at least it will be by someone with brains and a moticum of motivation.

am i letting him win by upsetting me so much? is that part of his game, to get under my skin? whoever said the best revenge is to live well is just full of it. the best revenge is so evil that i could never write it down out of fear it could be used as evidence if even one of the nasty things i wish upon CB ever actually happened.

a little time away

here are promised pics from the long-awaited, much-needed vacation to michigan wine country.

every time we go back to detroit, B insists on going to the polish market (which at first i didn't realize was the actual name of the place) to buy the kind of kielbasa we just can't find in dc. only he and i would transport 15 lbs of kielbasa across state lines.

one of the nephews has figured out how to use a camera ... sorta. he's only three, so as far as i'm concerned, the fact that he's stopped trying to eat it is genuis. this is some of his early work...

this is the view from the outdoor tables at our fav restaurant in michigan wine country, the boathouse. the cuisine is far and above better than what we can find in dc. which most people don't believe. the difference is that people in michigan go out to eat to ... well ... eat. not to be seen. we were actually sharing our dining space with a family from dc. i'll have to relay that experience later.

ahhhhh. these are the vineyards at the chateau grand traverse winery. we were thrilled to learn they have started shipping to virginia. it's great news for our stock of michigan wines, but bad news for the budget. we really should only be allowed to blow a ton on michigan wine a few times a year, not have the constant temptation!!

we watched the sunset over the west bay of the grand traverse bay on the beach with a bottle of wine. it may have literally been as far away from dc as mentally possible.

fishtown in leland. if it was any more charming, i may have exploded. we bought a FANTASTIC painting here.

we spent some time with some friends at their cabin in grayling. this is the big creek. that's it's name. big creek. now this is rustic.

P taught B how to use a chainsaw. now that is really not something i expected to witness on vacation. my urban husband sawing a tree with a dangerous power tool. great. i was too busy preparing to call 911 (like they have 911 out in bfe) to take pictures when he was using the ax to split logs. now that's just crazy.

man am i glad i married a lefty!!!

look, B is in public service. i clearly didn't marry him for the mad influx of cash from a public servant's salary. that's why i'm in law school! ;) but still, this is a study that i can't help but smile about.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

will someone kick this man in the groin please?

this man makes my blood run cold in my veins. i'd love to start a discussion about this article. it's really disturbing.

where the hell do these people work?

ok, i know sometimes i can be a bit snarky and mean, but look. that's why i switched to a blog with no name.


this morning was my first post-vacation commute. it's sad how a week-long vacation can just melt away as you're stuffing yourself like a sardine into an orange-line train. anywho, the people i saw on the train were amazing.

laura ingles: this woman was wearing a straight-up little house on the prairie, calico dress - and she had these HUGE wool socks (a la montana in the winter) and white sneakers. the ensemble was topped off by the most amazingly bad haircut i've ever seen ... we're talking, faded perm and bangs i haven't seen since 6th grade. kinda like these, only her hair wasn't blue, and it was shoulder length. but this wig is kinda funny, huh?

corderoy man: keep in mind it's dc in august. this dude had on super thick light brown cords, a wrinkled, patterned short-sleeved button-up shirt with a tie that couldn't have clashed more, which was of course about five inches too short. also, of course, the socks/sandals combo, which is always a good choice.

the office slut: what's sad about this woman is that her outfit could have been ok. she had on one of those dresses that you wear under a suit coat. fine. but hers was SO SHORT that i could literally see the bottom of her ass. i'm not kidding here. she had on a pearl necklace and a pearl bracelet - also acceptable - but she also had about three gold necklaces and gold bangle bracelets in addition to the pearls. and the piece de resistance? her shoes. the heels were so high and thin that she could barely walk. and her friend .....

one of these things is not like the other: this woman had on a pretty standard linen dress, appropriate shoes, and a beautiful coach (not goach) bag. the kicker? (wait for it....) she had a she-mullet. NO LIE. it was crazy.

so this is my question: where the HELL do these people work? and what in the world do their coworkers think of these get-ups? i mean, jesus, i get shit for wearing a pair of j.crew flip flops to work in an office where we all wear jeans and my craptastic boss wears black and pink pumas. seriously. where the hell do these people work? and was i suddenly transported to little rock or des moines or something?

hope you missed me! ;)