Wednesday, November 29, 2006

little miss impatient

i totally support gym-etiquette. when at 7am in a full exercise room, someone plants themself on the elliptical machine for 40 minutes, it really irks me. it's just not cool. so when i'm hoping for an especially long workout* on one machine i try to go at off-hours.

so yesterday, i went at 5pm, before people started showing up after work. i had just hopped on the machine when a girl storms in and asks me when are you going to be done on that? shit. there's no one else in the room, and she wants my machine. i said 15 minutes, both so i can get in 20 solid minutes and because i firmly believe 20 minutes is the standard and polite amount of time to use a machine when someone is waiting.

she then proceeds not to hop on a treadmill or stationery bike in the meantime (the logical thing to do while waiting, no?), but sit on the mat behind me, loudly flipping the pages on her magazine, sighing and checking the time on her cell phone approximately every 90 seconds.
after 15 minutes, i oblige and stop ... wipe down the machine, and hop on the treadmill.

little miss impatient spent the next 10 minutes on the machine, switching between going forward and backward every 60 seconds, and left.

after 10 minutes. 10 minutes.

she was breathing down my neck, just sitting there on the floor in order to get 10 minutes on the machine? she can't have been pressed for time, or one would logically assume that she'd have used those 15 minutes that she was waiting to ... i don't know ... exercise?

maybe switching directions every 60 seconds turns the elliptical machine into a magic ass-shrinking miracle machine, which requires only 10 minutes. if anyone is familiar with this or any other miracle ass-shrinking miracles, please feel free to pass that info along.**

maybe i shouldn't complain too much - i did get the machine back to finish my workout.

*we leave for st. martin in 1 month and 4 days. thus the need for the long workout.

**we leave for st. martin in 1 month and 4 days. thus the need for the magic ass-shrinking miracle machine.

3 comments:

Parm & Kate said...

Hey S -

Just wanted to let you know I love reading your blogs and hearing what's up - you are so funny. We miss you and we may be around in that anonymous town up north at Christmas, it would be nice if we could see you! Hope studying for exams goes well and have a great time in St. Martin, sounds so nice!

I am also trying to do some ass shrinking in the next three weeks so if you get any tips on how to speed that process up please post it... :)

Ryane said...

hahahahaha--I think that we must workout at the same gym b/c this girl sounds like someone at my gym.. People are such rude morons.

As for a magic, ass-shrinking miracle, do some plies..best thing EVER for firming up.

mmafan said...

Nice blog you have here, and my first time veiwing. That little girl you mentioned is typical of the spoiled and self important brat mentality in this city. I've learned just to ignore people like this, as they are generally unhappya nd negative people to begin with, and not the kind I want in my life.