enough already! an open letter to the media: UPDATE

dear liberal and non-liberal media:

while i'm consistently disappointed with all of you (stewart and colbert excluded, obviously), i thought i had just about figured out how obnoxious and inaccurate you all could be. but friends, you have shown me. i'll say it. uncle. you win. anything. just. stop. please.

i have yet to hear a single person, even those (myself included) who happen to follow celebrity news with some regularity, profess any interest in this anna nicole story. but you all continue to beat this thing into the ground. it's as if all the people who decide what stories to run decided to jet off for some crazy nudist caribbean getaway together, and stammered as they ran out of the office, uh, i don't know. just go with this anna nicole thing. be right back!

two weeks later.

please. i implore you. stop with the anna nicole story. how about this: in a year let us know what happened. because the thing is that we really don't care. please get back to reporting about what americans really want:

astronaut love triangle.

thank you,
s

UPDATE: i have met someone interested in the anna nicole story. this homeless woman that struck up a conversation with me for 20 minutes outside of the starbucks at 20th and penn was dying to talk about anna nicole. she's pretty sure it was the diet pills. we may be seeing her interviewed as an expert (or as the only person not in the media to care) on cnn sometime soon. heads up.