how not to study for an exam

my brain and i have this deal. in exchange for being allowed to wander aimless through class most days, the brain does me a little favor. in the couple days before an exam, she allows me to open it up, pour in every little bit of information, and then magically organizes it for me, like that coin counter at chevy chase bank. instead of a receipt, she spits out a well-organized exam that gives the unsuspecting professor the impression that i'd been dutifully paying attention throughout the entire class, and we're both happy. it's a win-win, really. and this was working quite well. until today.

today the brain has decided to act like a toddler faced with a spoon full of strained peas and not open up. not even a crack. but i supposed i did facilitate this, by making two errors that made brain believe study time is over:

1. i scheduled a reunion lunch with some old coworkers that would certainly run close to two hours. in reston.

2. before said long lunch, i allowed brain to convince me that we didn't need to do any work before, that a break was ok. so i didn't start studying at my usual study time, 9am. (this usually gives me about a half hour after B leaves to putz around online and get it out of my system.) brain needs a routine, or she gets unruly.

before i knew it, it was 2:30, and i was sleepy from a big long lunch. then brain convinced me a little nap wouldn't be so bad, and an hour and a half later we're having a big fight because she still doesn't want to get out of bed. damn you brain!

now i'm trying to show her i'm serious about this studying thing, dragging her across the street in my pjs and hoodie (oh, yes, we are going out in public like this. well you should have thought about that before the hour and a half nap, missy!) to buy not one but two sugar free red bulls. did you see that, brain? i bought two! one for tonight, and one for tomorrow. TWO!*

the problem as i see it is that i negotiated with the brain. i gave her an inch, and she took a mile. and now i have 48 hours to learn a frightful amount of con law after having let her run wild in that class all semester. of course, the problem could be that i've finally snapped and gone completely insane - and have begun considering my brain a separate independent personality.

it's a toss-up.



*brain never lets me buy two redbulls at a time, because at that point i should just buy a little carton of four, and that just seems excessive. only truckers need that much red bull.