Wednesday, April 11, 2007

breaking up is hard to do

it's rough when you reach that point in a relationship where you have to, if i may be so bold, shit or get off the can. and i don't mean to make light of it. i mean, even if you know things have to end, getting off the can is no easy task. come on, we've all been there a few times in our lives, no? and sometimes it takes something big and inappropriate and wrong to make it happen. this one girl once who cheated on her boyfriend when a break-up just wouldn't stick... but i digress...

what if it's not the romantic long-term relationship that we're talking about here ... what if it's something much more intense and intimate, what if it's the relationship that constantly controls how we and others see us? a relationship that shapes your very personality?

what if it's your hair stylist?!

god help us.

loyal reader DG is in a bit of a bind, because she may have to break up with her stylist of seven years. here's how it went down:

DG, toying with the idea of a pixie cut, went to her stylist originally thinking it would be best to ... ease into this haircut. sometimes a dye job and a dramatic haircut can be a bit much for people to take in together (totally agree), but after some friendly banter with the heretofore beloved stylist, they decided, what the hell. DG zoned out a little, as i'm sure we all have when the trusted stylists starts to snip. all was well, they were chatting, the stylist snipping, until ... DG felt ... a breeze. now, i've had a pixie cut. and i've had a too-short pixie cut (or as i like to call it, the lesbian hair debacle of 2002), so i'm familiar with the breeze.

the breeze is bad.

DG asked the stylist to stop ... her request was obliged, and her chair was spun around so she could see the progress (er, damage). so, once she was sure she wouldn't actually pass out, she told the stylist there would be no more cutting that day, oh no. she demanded that the new, lezbot haircut in the back be blended with the straight girl haircut in front, and bolted, holding back tears.

DG and i agree that there is a fine, but crucial, distinction between the pixie cut that looks stylish and professional, and the one that communicates you are a militant lesbian (a fine haircut if you are one, mind you). how does one adequately convey your desire to be on one side of the fine line or the other to a stylist? and wouldn't you think that a stylist of seven years would know you well enough to appreciate the distinction, and your desire to fall on one side or the other?

dear readers, DG's haircut is so bad (according to her, i've not yet seen it) that a barber approached her at an event the next day, declaring the cut her stylist gave to be terribly unprofessional. people, she had never met this guy in her life. and he, as a barber, was so moved by her haircut that he felt it appropriate to approach her, a total stranger, and offer unsolicited criticism of her haircut and stylist.

so what does she do?

she's beyond the point of shitting or getting off the can. it's been seven years, and she's long since committed to having this woman as her stylist. should they talk it out? can she transition into someone else and just let the other relationship gradually disintegrate? does she owe the stylist a reason for starting to go elsewhere? and is that cheating? should she give the stylist a second chance? and if she does, has she in effect decided not to get off the can? is there a probationary haircut? do they go to counseling? what are we talking about again?

i want input, people. what should DG do? and any names for new stylists (should this relationship be beyond repair) would be appreciated as well.


EJ Takes Life said...

Is DG in DC? Tell her to go see Beth at Bang on U Street. She's incredibly nice and can fix anything. She has to go see someone else, though-- the only thing worse than a bad haircut is a bad haircut that is half grown-out with wonky layers and/or bangs.

Anonymous said...

Well, she definitely shouldn't go back to that stylist. She doesn't want to dread getting her hair cut!