i have fucking ruined our washing machine: part one

let me catch you up to this point. b is at a happy hour which i declined to attend in favor of staying at home, reveling in the fact that i didn't bother to shower before class today, clean this messy apartment, do some laundry, drink some wine, in general just chill out.

at approximately 6:32 i realized that there was a problem. the new, cheap but cute rugs we bought from target (like a million we've bought and ran through before) had gone through the wash once a few days ago, but because i was positive mold had formed or something equally ridiculous, i washed them again before throwing them in the dryer. but when i went to throw them in the dryer, the washing machine kind of had not drained. at all.

fuck.

i ran the spin cycle three more times after consulting with the sister-in-law that i was positive had done this on a number of occassions, and that's what she said to do. so i tried it. and then i emptied the machine, and tried it again. and again. ps using a 2-cup pyrex measuring to empty a full-sized washing machine - twice - really is pretty much the most frustrating activity i can imagine. or at least it is this evening.

for awhile, i just figured i'd do my part to take care of it since a maintenance person for the building wouldn't be available til the morning. but they'd take care of it. because, i thought as i checked the soaking wet rugs i had wrung out and thrown into the dryer, it's not my fault these rugs ... FUCK. handwash only. in other words, if you put these cheapass rugs in the washing machine, you damn fool, you are fucked.

so now i'm panicking.

i ran out in the freezing rain to giant to get some drain-o. that shit works miracles, right? ok, they're not going to make me pay for a plumber or a new washing machine, right? RIGHT? i was sort of pacing in the elevator lobby in the parking garage when i caught myself in the reflection. awesome - i just went out in public wearing the least flattering pair of yoga pants a woman has ever put on. so now i feel like an idiot for putting cheapass rugs in the washing machine, and i feel fat. goddamn it.

just as i'm putting the draino in the machine, i notice a few shreds of cheapass rugs floating. i started to reach in but looked at the back of the bottle. nice. if i touch draino, it will burn my skin. fanfuckingtastic. so now, if the draino doesn't work, there really is nothing more i can do except tell the management i'm a fucking idiot and hope they don't make me pay for someone to fix the machine.

then b calls. i'm on my way home now from the happy hour, he says. so i start going into the situation we have here, and he cuts me off. ok, well, i'm sure it's fine. i'll talk to you later. click.

whatthefuckwasthatdidhejustfuckinghanguponme?

he'd better be drunk. or in the lobby about to get on the elevator and surprise me because he's actually here and not leaving the bar.

it was the latter.

so here we are. he's positive it's no big deal and also that draino really won't burn his skin despite the warning label if he sticks in his hand. i'm positive i'm an idiot (and fat) (and that i need to get another big glass of wine) and that we're going to have to pay some amount of money to pay for this shit. (did i mention we have bought 4 plane tickets this week?)

the draino has been in for a half hour now. fingers crossed that it somehow eats away all the particles of cheapass rug. wish me luck.