usually i'd never write about something quite so personal... but i'm positive i can lean on you, dear readers, to help me come to terms with the reality that my marriage might be in serious trouble.
really, it's all that little witch's fault. elizabeth - her real name! i'm not even giving this woman an initial - maybe you weren't trying to send my marriage into a tailspin when you sent my husband a message on myspace asking him out. but, really, what did you expect? the two of you obviously have so much in common. you think he's hot. he thinks he's hot. he is hot. it's like something out of a movie. this is how all great romances begin. also, you both live in arlington and are approximately the same age. i mean, come on! it's like it was written in the stars, wife be damned.
i realize now that the past six years of building trust and commitment to one another was completely misguided. and also that my frequent compliments (that was really thoughtful, that color is perfect with your features, et cetera) were totally out of line. if only i'd stuck to you're hot, let's make out ... maybe this awful tragedy could have been avoided.
well, elizabeth, if i do lose him to you, i hope you take good care of him. i hope you learn from my mistakes, and your success, and never let your relationship get to a point where you form a deep and trusting bond. i'd say stick with superficial compliments and propositions.
but i'd keep an eye on his myspace. i think he's hot, too. and i know where to find him. you never know when i might try and swoop back in with some of your brilliant tactics.