for some reason, you are my default local news source. it just happened, i just fell into this relationship with you. i wish i could switch to leon harris at abc 7 (sidebar: why the hell did leon harris leave cnn to do local news? anybody? doesn't that seem strange?), but it just doesn't stick. i guess this is a long-term thing, so let's talk about how i want to change you.
here are some examples you can use to help train the employees that decide when to use the du-du-dom-dom-dom breaking news percussion beat. i suggest flashcards. or a powerpoint presentation.
a child being hit by a car in a maryland suburb? not breaking news.
a child hit by a dick cheney's motorcade? breaking news.
a townhouse on fire in woodbridge? not breaking news.
a townhouse on fire and karl rove is stuck inside with a male prostitute? breaking news.
a home invasion in georgetown? not breaking news.
a home invasion at the white house? breaking news.
a school board member turns himself in after a warrant was issued for his arrest? not breaking news.
a school board member executes a citizen's arrest on condoleeza rice? breaking news.
small plane crashes on the eastern shore? not breaking news.
small plane crashes on the eastern shore into a weekend house, trapping karl rove and a male prostitute inside? breaking news.
6 men arrested for plotting to attack soldiers at a base in new jersey? now, that is breaking news. why were you going with developing story? you're a mystery to me, nbc4.
this last one makes me think that you realize that you've been crying wolf with this generous breaking news categorization, and that maybe you're trying to change. i hope you do want to change. for me. because i deserve it. but you need some practice. let's work together. call me.