there's no place like home for the holidays ...

i was so proud of myself this year, managing to wholly circumvent the annual holiday fight - the one big fight b & i have each year about holiday plans, with each of our families breathing down our necks, angling for an extra hour here or there. this, i thought, was especially impressive given that we are going to michigan for both christmas and thanksgiving - a trip that we usually forgo in favor of a quiet day of gorging ourselves at home with a friend or two. (i'm thinking PIE-ATUS, jen!!) this year, i simply worked out the bulk of the logistics when b was halfway around the world in singapore, and told him the plans when he returned. unnecessary spike in blood pressure averted!

but did i really think that the fates would let me get off so easily? GOD i'm so naive sometimes.

i guess the appropriate backstory here is that the thanksgiving trip, the one which was at the core of yesterday's motherly freak-out (though, to be fair, there was a touch of christmas thrown in for good measure), is because my brother's leaving soon for a year in kuwait. which is markedly not awesome, but also ... not iraq. i received a motherly ultimatum a few months ago, young lady, if your brother is going overseas, you had better come home for thanksgiving, or ... or ... i don't know. i would have anyway, but nothing like a nice ultimatum to really make the trip seem like some quality family time will be had. planning with my sister-in-law about logistics, with some consultation from my mom, led us to the realization that thanksgiving at my brother's house on saturday was the best option. flights were booked, et cetera, et cetera. except no one told me my grandma booked a flight to come in on thursday,* and we also decided christmas at the brother's house was the best option given that a flight for b & i to grand rapids would have cost a kidney.

i knew that christmas thing wouldn't go over well, but when i told my mom that little gem this weekend, she had a mild freak-out, so i thought we were done.

until yesterday.

1. apparently it turns out that having the holidays at my brother's house, 80 miles from where my parents live, is not a decision rooted in convenience and maximizing time together, but in fact a direct reflection on how my parents house is actually not good enough for me;

2. i am a terrible daughter for keeping my mom out of the loop by not telling her (though i have email documentation to the opposite) that thanksgiving was at my brother's house; my ignorance about my grandmother's flight* is feigned and a reflection of how evil and selfish a daughter i am;

3. she is calling me right now and there's no way i'm answering;

4. this holiday season actually isn't about getting to spend as much time with my brother as possible; instead, it is about logging the yearly quota of hours physically at my parents' house;

5. i am insufferably selfish.

this thanksgiving is going to be the Best Ever!


*it actually turns out my grandma has not yet booked her flight. so i guess that whole thing about how i've ruined thanksgiving for everyone, including my grandmother!, was a little premature.