metro monday: the back to school edition

i was going to spend my first post-sabbatical metro monday on the following two words and how they should be banned from the english language:

fanny pack.

and really, who can't write a little something funny about the fanny pack?

but since this is the back to school edition, i'm instead going to focus on the following two words, inspired by one of my professors:

man boobs.

and more specifically, man boobs highlighted by a thin t-shirt under which no t-shirt is worn, and through which hard nipples are displayed.

people, a lot of what i do on my little corner of the Internets is to make fun of people. a whole lot. but this is more of a public service announcement, really.

gentlemen. listen up. if you have man boobs, give your wardrobe a little thought. if a thin cotton t-shirt is the first thing you grab out of the closet, take a pause. you need to consider just placing a white t-shirt under that thin cotton t-shirt. and what's more - if you have a tendency to maintain freakishly hard nipples for a man (or mammal), perhaps two t-shirts won't be enough.

and further still, if you're a law professor, a single thin cotton t-shirt is not acceptable on the first - or any - day of class.

because of this, i'm actually going to make fun of this professor.

MY PROFESSORS BIG MAN BOOBS AND FREAKISHLY HARD NIPPLES HAVE BEEN DISTRACTING ME FROM THE BACK ROW FOR EXACTLY ONE HOUR AND FORTY THREE MINUTES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MAN BOOBS!