day four

here i am, in day four of what is supposed to be the glorious month off between fake lawyerdom and the last, irrelevant year of law school and a return to my could-not-be-less-mentally-challenging part-time job working with the-most-annoying-human-being-ever. day four, with the whole of august spread about before me like a blank slate.

this is essentially what i have done in the past 72 hours:

• approximately 48 loads of laundry
• unpacked 3 suitcases
• unloaded the dishwasher twice (after pretending for the first 24 hours that those dirty dishes didn't actually exist)
• actually answered a call from and engaged in a conversation with my crazy and judgmental grandmother
• tried to find everyone i've ever met on myspace
• spent 4 hours unsuccessfully googling one of our college friends (ben desarmeaux, where are you?! jesus.)
• checked my cell phone 1,566 times to make sure the ringer is on so i can hear it when The Call comes
• simpsonized myself, bob, his boss, another summer associate who i fucking hated, my nephews, and a couple of attorneys in my (hopefully, see above) firm that i thought would make good characters
• 3 days staring at the stack of articles on women's property rights in the 19th century wondering why the hell i decided to write on that (or any) topic
• 2 trips to the drycleaners
• grocery shopping at two different stores just because
  
• 2 wholly uneventful trips to target - i knew i shouldn't have glanced at the vacation-bloated credit card statement before i went
• pedicure that resulted in toes painted a shade of hot pink that the bottle totally did not accurately display
• 20 minutes staring at said toes thinking that i need to just repaint them but being too damn lazy to actually do it
• watched ej dance like the white girl she is
  
• reviewed my apartment building on aptratings.com
• reviewed our vacation spot on tripadvisor.com
• just checked my cell again to make sure the ringer is on (you know, The Call)
• 2 episodes of doctor phil (thank you, b, for not being one of those men who requires an extended stay at the dr. phil house)
• 3 trips to the post office
• 1 tour of a condo that i love and is perfect, but to which we are hesitant to commit (more on the hopefully-impending move into the representation-free district when the dust settles and we know we can/should do it)
• returned 4 library books i've been renewing since march and never cracked open.

if this is my life even until the end of august, i think i may actually lose my mind. i was really thinking that a few weeks of just running errands and putzing around online would be sweet, but actually it turns out it fucking sucks. i'm dying here, people. i've got no one to pester, no gossip in which to involve myself, no one to avoid getting work from, no fancy lunches with interesting people in 3 hours (although thank god i met rk for lunch tuesday, and actually engaged in meaningful conversation with someone), nada.

over a glass (or three) of the delicious l. mawby that arrived yesterday from michigan (truly the highlight of my week), i made b promise me that if i EVER told him i thought it'd be a good idea for me to not work and just stay home, he would pull out the emails i've sent him this week that he's been too busy to read (the gist of which are: SWEET BABY JESUS I'M SO BORED I MIGHT LOSE MY EFFING MIND) so i could remember that after 3 days of nothing, i couldn't take it.

dear god, i think i might actually be *looking forward* to returning to my part-time job. which makes it official: i have lost my mind.

on the bright side, as a simpsons character, i am a total babe.