dear two years ago s,

sorry i'm so tardy in responding to your letter. greetings from the future! i can barely believe it was two years ago that i experienced the delicious satisfaction of returning said staples to said jackass in a neat little pile on said desk. (see how lawyerly i am now, what with all the "saids" and the extraordinary delay between your initial letter and my response. i'm like a lawyer rockstar over here.) BigLaw is super duper. it turns out you like document review, but mainly because it sucks less than other stuff. and that the contract law you research is maryland, not minnesota. obvs. oh, and sometimes, in the morning, you can hit snooze for an hour and a half, roll in at 9:45 (ok, maybe closer to 10), and no one even effing notices. it's kind of awesome. (that was yesterday, btw. i also did not shower.) (one more thing, you have bangs now. they look good.)

but you should know there is actually a part of me (a small, perhaps mentally ill part) that genuinely misses the days of answering phones and making copies and plotting my next passive aggressive move in the chess match that was s versus douchebag. first, that working only 2 1/2 days a week thing wasn't awful (even if the rest of the time was law school, which was awful - though not nearly as awful as studying for the bar, which was every kind of awful). also nice was the leaving at 5:00:01 thing. as was the complete lack of obligation past 5:00:01. i never caught myself peaking into my purse (btw, you have nicer purses now, that's totally a perk) during a dinner out, looking for the dreaded red flash on my blackberry.

i guess what i'm saying i am obviously very happy to not be 2007 s. for sure. but i liked that s. she had it alright. just in different ways.

(another reason the future is awesome: you get to be an auntie to one more niece ... as of today!)