oh ambassador cabbie #697, today was really not the day to cut in front of me at the dc car inspection center. now, most of my friends - and i'm sure all of my acquaintences who would not consider me a friend - would be quick to tell you that there probably is no good day on which to attempt to cut in front of me in any line, let alone the wrapped-around-the-block line at the dc car inspection center. but today of all days was sooo not the day. any day that has included using public transportation to get from NW dc to fairfax, virginia only to stand outside the metro station at vienna for well over an hour calling the dealership where my poor little car is being held hostage waiting for the shuttle that is supposed to arrive every twenty minutes ... you see, that's a bad morning. paying $560 to rescue said car from the dealership for repairs that in the previous half a dozen visits (whilst my car was still protected by my old friend mr. warranty) the dealership couldn't fucking fix and now magically figured out 6,000 miles after my friend mr. warranty and i parted ways ... that's really a bad morning. and then showing up at the dc car inspection center to find the line a block longer than that time i went on a saturday morning like a fool? well, pal. it's a recipe for disaster.
so then when you, mr. ambassador cabbie #697, decided to cut in front of me as i turned from delaware onto eye street after waiting a half hour for that small joy, all bets were off. maybe you thought i'd stop with the honking. maybe you thought i'd just throw my arms around a little. maybe you didn't mind my yelling out the window. and maybe you didn't think i'd be such a bitch when i got out of my car and stormed to the driver's side of your cab. but you see, i'd had a super shitty morning, and i've been screwed by more than one dc cabbie in my days here ... whatever you did that made karma whisper in your ear cut in front of this girl... she won't mind ... well, i can only imagine it was something awful that led you to me this morning, and earned you the brunt of all my shitty-morning-related frustration and dislike-of-dc-cabbies wrath. you must have totally deserved it.
this theory is buttressed by the fact that one of the sassiest old ladies in dc, bless her heart, happened to be crossing the street while this unfolded. i had just started dialing the number for ambassador cabs (as i so politely promised you i would) and was headed back to my car, muttering under my breath, when she unleashed it on you too. and though my caustic wit and threatening to call your bosses may not have fazed you, clearly this 70-year-old's threat to march straight to the inspection center and tell them herself what you'd just done and demand they write you a ticket - somehow that did the trick.
oh and by the way, i am happy now. thanks for asking.