metro monday vii: B is taking over

it's going to be a few weeks before i'm able to do a proper monday morning ... no complaining here. B has kindly stepped up again to offer today's gem.


There was this lady sitting next to me who was sneezing all over the place. I'm for sure going to get sick. It was pretty gross. Then she proceeded to blow her nose for about five straight minutes.

I chose this seat for a reason, because it looked as though sitting next to this woman would present the least amount of annoyance. Turns out I was wrong.

I was debating whether or not to move but ultimately I stayed put because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. ugh...


and this, my friends is why i have purell on my keychain. i definitely would have gotten up. i would have gotten up, looked at her with pursed lips, sighed, and put purell on my hands right then and there.

now if you'll all excuse me, i'm cleaning my closets. god i love days off. (or, god i'm weird.)

sunday

a plane lands at princess juliana international airport - st. martin.

we'll be making this landing in two short weeks!

the blogging will be far and few between for the next few weeks - but come january i'll be rested, relaxed and ready to attack dc with a fresh snarkiness!

wha?

"I think Mary is going to be a loving soul to her child. And I'm happy for her," Bush said in an interview with People magazine.

1. i thought ya hated the gays?
2. what the fuck does a loving soul mean?
3. when did the POTUS start giving People interviews?

it's time for the weekend.

caffeine update

cups of coffee: 3
diet cokes: 2
red bulls: 1

hours until last exam is over: 29

29 hours from being officially half way through law school: priceless.

how not to study for an exam

my brain and i have this deal. in exchange for being allowed to wander aimless through class most days, the brain does me a little favor. in the couple days before an exam, she allows me to open it up, pour in every little bit of information, and then magically organizes it for me, like that coin counter at chevy chase bank. instead of a receipt, she spits out a well-organized exam that gives the unsuspecting professor the impression that i'd been dutifully paying attention throughout the entire class, and we're both happy. it's a win-win, really. and this was working quite well. until today.

today the brain has decided to act like a toddler faced with a spoon full of strained peas and not open up. not even a crack. but i supposed i did facilitate this, by making two errors that made brain believe study time is over:

1. i scheduled a reunion lunch with some old coworkers that would certainly run close to two hours. in reston.

2. before said long lunch, i allowed brain to convince me that we didn't need to do any work before, that a break was ok. so i didn't start studying at my usual study time, 9am. (this usually gives me about a half hour after B leaves to putz around online and get it out of my system.) brain needs a routine, or she gets unruly.

before i knew it, it was 2:30, and i was sleepy from a big long lunch. then brain convinced me a little nap wouldn't be so bad, and an hour and a half later we're having a big fight because she still doesn't want to get out of bed. damn you brain!

now i'm trying to show her i'm serious about this studying thing, dragging her across the street in my pjs and hoodie (oh, yes, we are going out in public like this. well you should have thought about that before the hour and a half nap, missy!) to buy not one but two sugar free red bulls. did you see that, brain? i bought two! one for tonight, and one for tomorrow. TWO!*

the problem as i see it is that i negotiated with the brain. i gave her an inch, and she took a mile. and now i have 48 hours to learn a frightful amount of con law after having let her run wild in that class all semester. of course, the problem could be that i've finally snapped and gone completely insane - and have begun considering my brain a separate independent personality.

it's a toss-up.



*brain never lets me buy two redbulls at a time, because at that point i should just buy a little carton of four, and that just seems excessive. only truckers need that much red bull.

metro monday vii: playing from home

there's no monday commute this week either, and although b was kind enough to step in last monday, he seemed less than eager to participate today. so instead i'm going to do two things today:

1. i'm inviting people to please comment with their metro monday stories from this morning; and

2. i'm going to offer some thrilling observations i made between 8:30 and 9:00 am when i am usually on the train. which should be funny and/or mildly pathetic. here goes:

- tom cruise really does have man-boobs these days.

- how many colors of highlighter do i have on this hoodie? (i'm still counting)

- i've been listening to christmas music for 21 days straight. overly religious songs are much less annoying when sung by frank sinatra.

- having only an orange for breakfast is a bad idea. i need some cereal.

- i am sick and tired of studying for exams. (varieties of this observation: i hate this shit; i still don't understand the difference between mens rea and actus reus - why can't we use english words?; i wonder what the curve will be like in this class; and ooh, i can't forget to get a red bull and snickers bar before this exam - otherwise i will fail.)

- when i get a piano (obviously requiring a home larger than 600 square feet) the first thing i'm learning to play is that linus and lucy song.

- does the president really talk to his dog like this? because, shit. i love dogs, but i don't think for a second that pumpkin is going to give me reliable advice on national security.

sunday

i have been delinquent in this habit lately, and for that i apologize.

the lighthouse in my hometown, all decked out in her december best.

i came across this picture and the pangs of homesickness* were especially strong ... i've been longing for some meteorological confirmation that it is, in fact, about two weeks from christmas. today, as we helped rk with christmas lights and garland, i was watching robins flit around in the green grass and needed no jacket. and i miss the snow. i've been trying to fill the emptiness in my gut left by the lack of snow with charlie brown's christmas soundtrack, but i'm not having much success. i need the snow, damn it.

in a couple weeks, we'll make the pilgrimage to michigan to be with the families, and you are all welcome to roll your eyes when i blog afterwards with complaints about the cold and the snow. but for now, after putting up christmas lights on a warm sunny day, i want the snow.


*homesickness may have been compounded by the truly normal and heartwarming hour-long conversation i had with my mom this evening.

the SOG saga continues

it's exam time, people. i'm relying these days on the humor of guest bloggers too keep my huge (snicker, snicker) readership satisfied. ;)

some of you may remember SOG (sleepy old guy) from a few weeks ago. well, the laughs just keep on coming.

courtesy of rk:

so SOG has a friend who he worked with at some agency or another at the dawn of time who is now working here. my esteemed team leader refers to him as lurch. perfect name for him. he especially sounds like lurch.

lurch is in a temporary office on my floor over where my old office used to be. the big color printer is over there and yesterday i had to walk over to get something from the printer.

i happened to glance in lurch's office to see him......

SLEEPING.

yep you got it. sleepy old guy's friend also seems to be a napper.

i forgot my print job and RAN back to team leader's office and told him. he immediately had to go check on a print job and shortly after reported that lurch was still asleep.

are you my gynecologist or my mom?!

in the midst of the usual awkward small talk:

so no kids yet?

no, none planned. i'm in law school.

well these things don't necessarily need to follow strict schedules ...

um, i suppose ... that's ... true.

i'm sure your career is important, but just don't wait too long to have children. you're 27? i suppose you have a good 5 years. i'm sure as a lawyer you'd be able to work from home some, so that'd make things easier for you as a mom.

for a moment, i was really sure i might be in one of those weird dreams where i'm at the gynecologist and i'm getting a lecture about how i plan to balance a career and motherhood and it turns out the gyno is actually my mom, and she ends the appointment by snapping off her gloves and saying, now remember missy, i want a granddaughter! and you're not getting any younger!

and also let me say that this is a conversation i'd expect to have with a doctor in michigan, sure, where all my high school friends have elementary school aged children. but in dc? jesus. most people here at 27 go into seizures at the thought of getting married. starting a family? good grief, charlie brown. let a girl be, hm?

(note: this did serve to give some perspective. i'd actually much rather listen to chopin and re-read the federal rules of evidence for the 95th time than be chasing a toddler around. so, thank you, freakishly old-fashioned gynecologist. thank you for reminding me that i am happy with my life choices.)

metro monday vi: a guest blogger!

today, the oft-mentioned B has stepped up to the plate and taken on the weighty duty of coming up with material for metro monday. this is exam week one, and i've taken this and next monday off to prepare (read: make up for all the work i didn't get done during the semester).

B: Ok. I hate when I am standing in the middle of the train car and people want to get by or they stand too close to me and invade my personal space - even though there is more than enough room on the train. (s: B is adamant about moving to the middle of the train. nothing gets on his nerves more than when people stop in the doorway. he turns into a mean, glaring man when people do that ... kinda like how he gets when he's hungry.)

B: That happened to me today. It was girl, slightly taller than you and she was wearing boots. (you know how I hate that) (s: B really does not like it when women wear skirts and tall boots. he thinks boots should be worn underneath pants. i'm not really sure why he feels this way, but he does.)

B: So I was automatically annoyed. To punish her, I read her newspaper over her shoulder. (s: how polite is B, that his retribution for an invasion of personal space was to read the newspaper over her shoulder! i thought about changing that part to say that to punish her he pretended to tell me over the phone that he forgot to take his antibiotics but he was pretty sure the strep throat wasn't contagious anymore - but no, he read the paper over her shoulder. what a class act.)

B: I hope she learned her lesson. That's all I have.

s: my guess is that she was standing so close because, as we all know, my husband is a total babe. i don't know about all of you, but i think this was a great blog by B. thanks for pinch-hitting!