at first, i thought metro monday was going to be about b & i today ... about how we were both so caught up in scanning the crowd on the train for funnies that we each were, at separate stops, taken off-guard by the train's jerkiness and flailed into the people next to us. or about all the colorful language b used when he saw that there were five minutes between trains during rush hour on the orange line. (the horror! who are these incompetents?!?!?)
but as i was approaching the escalators at foggy bottom, i saw something very, very special. there was a group of touristy-looking 20-somethings trying to yank an umbrella that had gotten stuck in the door out. i assumed, as is i think logical, that the group had been leaving the train and the umbrella got stuck on the way out. but ... after they dislodged the umbrella, they stood there - waiting for the next train! one of these brainiacs, it seems, had stuck her umbrella into the train door thinking it would stay open for the whole group to enter.
listen. i don't mean to pick on the tourists or anything. it's everyone's city, yadda yadda yadda. but people. it's not an elevator. it's a train. it will smash whatever you stick between those closing doors: umbrellas, arms, small children. "please stand clear of the doors" isn't a polite reminder. it's a warning.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
a little friday "it sucks that we have to work while everyone else in this city has the day off" story
we all have those co-workers in our lives that are technologically-challenged. (read: god only knows how they turn on their computers in the morning.) and those always result in some hilarious, time-wasting incidents.
this morning, rk shared with me her recent experience with her office-sharing nemesis, the smirking self-important elderly gentleman who occassionally leaves the office in the middle of the day or a project for such important tasks as, oh, picking up a ham. and he also falls asleep in meetings. a real fav of hers. let's call him SOG (sleepy old guy).
this morning, rk shared with me her recent experience with her office-sharing nemesis, the smirking self-important elderly gentleman who occassionally leaves the office in the middle of the day or a project for such important tasks as, oh, picking up a ham. and he also falls asleep in meetings. a real fav of hers. let's call him SOG (sleepy old guy).
rk: SOG has been grumbling about how he always has a hard time logging onto the website where we are taking those online certification courses. you have to put in your work email and password, blah, blah. you can of course click the little "remember me" box so you don't have to enter the info again.
he was grumbling and i said i would help him. so i stand over his shoulder and watch while he enters his email and password (making sure the remember me box is checked). he clicks "ok" and sure enough he get the error message "this account doesn't exist". so i say go back and try again. this time i pay a little bit more attention as he types.
umm...as it turns out, SOG has been misspelling the company name in his email. that's why he can't log in.
SOG also sent a nasty-gram to the administrators for the website complaining about his inability to log in. i'll update if i hear anything resulting from the nasty-gram.
SOG also sent a nasty-gram to the administrators for the website complaining about his inability to log in. i'll update if i hear anything resulting from the nasty-gram.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
the congressional revolution of 2006 - bringing families together
i know we're all still working through the implications of this election - nancy pelosi becoming the most powerful woman in american history, the demise of our beloved rumsfeld, finally some oversight of the debacle in iraq - add one more to the list, shall we?
it's not news that my relationship with my dad has, of late, been somewhat ... ahem ... strained. but this election, folks, has brought us back together. we spent a good chunk of time this afternoon gushing over how giddy we are, and how fun and glorious and wrought with come-uppins this election has proven to be. he went off for a little bit on a few moderately insane conspiracy theories and plans for border control (long story short: they involve annexing the 51st state, mexico) - but i was just so thrilled he was actually talking to me that all i could do was smile.
helping estranged family members see past their differences because they have been blinded by the overwhelming joy of seeing republicans get a swift kick in the head.
thank you, democrats. those are some family values i can get behind.
"who's the decider now?" OR "to quote the eloquent nelson muntz ..."
1. yes i did get a couple hours of sleep last night and
2. i never said i wouldn't gloat.
i'm gloating, damnit. and i'm being immature about it. and i'm loving every moment.
in fact, if you had asked me if, when the dems retook the house (and how!) and the senate will probably fall our way (not to mention that governor's map. ah, the blue!!!), i would gloat, i'd have said hells yes i will gloat!
i'm a sore loser, and 2004 had me in a funk for months. but i'm also a poor winner. and so i gloat.
i won't blog on this at length. i'll let the kids at the wonkette, who are so much better than i am, take care of it. but i just have to tell you that i heard the gentle voice of karma when ken mehlman was talking about the importance of every vote counting (er, um, ken?) ...
i also just heard tom delay on cnn call karl rove a genius. this is going to be a fun, fun day.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
i guess you take the good with the bad....
last night in the hour between work and class that i typically spend pretending that i'm going to study but really putzing around online, i thought it'd be a nice idea to take a walk. the reasons for this were two-fold.
1. it was a nice evening, and i didn't even have my textbook for class, so i couldn't tell myself i'd study and
2. i've recently decided that i really, seriously, honestly, swear to god, have got to start exercising. between the ever-closer trip to the french west indies (sigh), the two visits to the doctor's office that involved stepping on a scale (me: what the?! um, ma'am, i'm sorry but this scale is like 15 pounds off. seriously. i know you told me last time it was right, but really.) (ok, not outloud. but i was thinking it.), and a glance at wedding pictures that are only 14 months old (me: dude. who is this skinny girl in the white ... wait a second!) ... it's time. the 1L 15 i've started calling it.
thus: a walk.
dc is, i think, one of those cities that's much more charming after the sun's gone down. the buildings somehow seem larger, the smells better. i don't know. maybe it's just me. during the day, i never notice the small buildings tucked between the taller ones, the kosher delis, how much wider the sidewalks are here than in the midwest. (yes, we have sidewalks in the midwest.) i walked up from foggy bottom to dupont, and felt a ping of nostalgia as i passed the office building where i worked as a receptionist for an architecture firm when i was first in dc. that was only three or four years ago, but my god how things have changed since then. dvorak's new world symphony came up on shuffle on my ipod. i was zipping along, happy with the world and the city and my life and all that.
and then. then, on 20th just south of p, there. on a loading dock. there was a man. and he was taking a shit.
yeah.
1. it was a nice evening, and i didn't even have my textbook for class, so i couldn't tell myself i'd study and
2. i've recently decided that i really, seriously, honestly, swear to god, have got to start exercising. between the ever-closer trip to the french west indies (sigh), the two visits to the doctor's office that involved stepping on a scale (me: what the?! um, ma'am, i'm sorry but this scale is like 15 pounds off. seriously. i know you told me last time it was right, but really.) (ok, not outloud. but i was thinking it.), and a glance at wedding pictures that are only 14 months old (me: dude. who is this skinny girl in the white ... wait a second!) ... it's time. the 1L 15 i've started calling it.
thus: a walk.
dc is, i think, one of those cities that's much more charming after the sun's gone down. the buildings somehow seem larger, the smells better. i don't know. maybe it's just me. during the day, i never notice the small buildings tucked between the taller ones, the kosher delis, how much wider the sidewalks are here than in the midwest. (yes, we have sidewalks in the midwest.) i walked up from foggy bottom to dupont, and felt a ping of nostalgia as i passed the office building where i worked as a receptionist for an architecture firm when i was first in dc. that was only three or four years ago, but my god how things have changed since then. dvorak's new world symphony came up on shuffle on my ipod. i was zipping along, happy with the world and the city and my life and all that.
and then. then, on 20th just south of p, there. on a loading dock. there was a man. and he was taking a shit.
yeah.
Monday, November 06, 2006
metro monday ii
it's monday again, folks. sad as it is. but it's time for the second metro monday, which is kind of exciting.
first of all, i wanted to make clear what i'm going to do with metro monday. i am only going to write about things, people, smells, etc. that i encounter on the train monday morning. that's it. i'm not going to draw from my vast experience of metro-riding experience and showcase the gems on mondays. i'm not going to write about that time a couple years back when i got in a shouting match with a tourist on the escalator who was standing on the left and refused to move when i ever-so-politely said, excuse me, this is my train. i don't think that's very genuine. instead, i'm restricting myself to write only about that 4-stop commute into foggy bottom.
i'm telling you this in part to cover my ass in case some mondays are really lame. consider this your warning.
today, i would like to take a moment just as a public service announcement to discuss the aisle-sitters.* aisle-sitting is wrong, and it needs to stop. ok, sometimes at like 2 in the afternoon aisle-sitting is fine. but on the orange line during rush hour? unacceptable. there were two - count 'em, two - aisle-sitters this morning on the train. the orange line. 8:40 am. and one of them was sleeping.
aisle-sitters: you are rude. you are not paying twice as much to ride the train, so you don't get to take up two seats because you don't feel like scootching your ass over 14 inches or you don't feel like sitting next to someone. and when i see you on the train, i can assure you that the seat next to you is *always* the one i want. please show just a touch of courtesy and move it.
(also, there was this guy in the seat in front of me in an all-corduroy suit. all corduroy. can you believe that? i think my little brother had one of those when he was four or something. that dude's gonna be hot this afternoon.)
*aisle-sitting is when there are two empty seats, and you take the outside seat, leaving the inside seat empty and unaccessible.
first of all, i wanted to make clear what i'm going to do with metro monday. i am only going to write about things, people, smells, etc. that i encounter on the train monday morning. that's it. i'm not going to draw from my vast experience of metro-riding experience and showcase the gems on mondays. i'm not going to write about that time a couple years back when i got in a shouting match with a tourist on the escalator who was standing on the left and refused to move when i ever-so-politely said, excuse me, this is my train. i don't think that's very genuine. instead, i'm restricting myself to write only about that 4-stop commute into foggy bottom.
i'm telling you this in part to cover my ass in case some mondays are really lame. consider this your warning.
today, i would like to take a moment just as a public service announcement to discuss the aisle-sitters.* aisle-sitting is wrong, and it needs to stop. ok, sometimes at like 2 in the afternoon aisle-sitting is fine. but on the orange line during rush hour? unacceptable. there were two - count 'em, two - aisle-sitters this morning on the train. the orange line. 8:40 am. and one of them was sleeping.
aisle-sitters: you are rude. you are not paying twice as much to ride the train, so you don't get to take up two seats because you don't feel like scootching your ass over 14 inches or you don't feel like sitting next to someone. and when i see you on the train, i can assure you that the seat next to you is *always* the one i want. please show just a touch of courtesy and move it.
(also, there was this guy in the seat in front of me in an all-corduroy suit. all corduroy. can you believe that? i think my little brother had one of those when he was four or something. that dude's gonna be hot this afternoon.)
*aisle-sitting is when there are two empty seats, and you take the outside seat, leaving the inside seat empty and unaccessible.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
a time and a place, folks
1. i do not support the wearing of fishnet stockings, except between 11pm and 4am. *especially* not with an otherwise conservative black suit. maybe if you'd caught me last friday, i would have told you to your face. during the evening commute? this does not fall within the rules, my friend.
2. tall brown boots and short, catholic school girl-esque plaid skirt is a bit much for crim law on a thursday evening, hm? and let's watch it when we shift in our twirly law school seats, dear. all of us in the row directly behind you very nearly got a lindsay lohan-type show. (the men in class were already thinking, you had me at the clingy sweater!)
3. in my office: (a) no to the black puma sneakers with the hot pink, mister. i mean it! i know you think because they are black sneakers, they are ok in our business casual atmosphere, but you're wrong. and you're a terd, but that's another story; (b) no to the black sweatpants and huge 80s satin bow. i mean, obviously. these two things are real wrong separately. together? definetly not. unless it's a saturday morning, your house is burning down and the only thing you can find to pull your hair back is part of your "awful 80s" halloween costume.
ps. dude. what is with the body wash that has made an appearance in the ladies' room here?! i mean, as if this place weren't weird enough.....
2. tall brown boots and short, catholic school girl-esque plaid skirt is a bit much for crim law on a thursday evening, hm? and let's watch it when we shift in our twirly law school seats, dear. all of us in the row directly behind you very nearly got a lindsay lohan-type show. (the men in class were already thinking, you had me at the clingy sweater!)
3. in my office: (a) no to the black puma sneakers with the hot pink, mister. i mean it! i know you think because they are black sneakers, they are ok in our business casual atmosphere, but you're wrong. and you're a terd, but that's another story; (b) no to the black sweatpants and huge 80s satin bow. i mean, obviously. these two things are real wrong separately. together? definetly not. unless it's a saturday morning, your house is burning down and the only thing you can find to pull your hair back is part of your "awful 80s" halloween costume.
ps. dude. what is with the body wash that has made an appearance in the ladies' room here?! i mean, as if this place weren't weird enough.....
Thursday, November 02, 2006
breaking news
i think i may have just seen david hasselhoff picking his nose in a hyundai outside of the virginia square metro stop. move over perez hilton - my celeb sightings are way more reliable.
an ode to rk
well, i just realized it's thursday, and this weekend rk is going up to new york to see madame butterfly with her father as an early birthday gift. this means we will only see rk on friday evening for some holiday party planning over thai. (that's right party people! watch your mailboxes for some pretty handmade invites!) we basically hang out with rk all the time, so a saturday and sunday without her seem a bit odd.
i thought i would take this opportunity to highlight one of rk's most amusing and educational traits. she's a friggin genius people. serious. she basically knows everything.
when she joined us in detroit for the first two games of the world series (and no, i'm still not ready to talk about it), it didn't take long before b's family started asking her random questions because, well, she'd obviously know the answer.
and just this past weekend, b & i foolishly played trivial pursuit with her. she had this question:
how many points is a "C" worth, in Swedish Scrabble?
the answer is ten. and she got it right. no. i'm not kidding.
so, here's to rk. have a lovely weekend in new york, and please prance those ferragamos into the oak room at the algonquin hotel and have a martini for me, hm?
ps. b keeps saying that he's going to start blogging some on my corner of the internet. but so far he's all talk. everyone who wants b to start blogging, leave a comment urging him to start!!!
NOTE: like an idiot, i had not realized that i had to approve everyone's comments before they were published. my bad. now i see people HAVE been commenting. and i love you for that. promise to take care of that ....
i thought i would take this opportunity to highlight one of rk's most amusing and educational traits. she's a friggin genius people. serious. she basically knows everything.
when she joined us in detroit for the first two games of the world series (and no, i'm still not ready to talk about it), it didn't take long before b's family started asking her random questions because, well, she'd obviously know the answer.
and just this past weekend, b & i foolishly played trivial pursuit with her. she had this question:
how many points is a "C" worth, in Swedish Scrabble?
the answer is ten. and she got it right. no. i'm not kidding.
so, here's to rk. have a lovely weekend in new york, and please prance those ferragamos into the oak room at the algonquin hotel and have a martini for me, hm?
ps. b keeps saying that he's going to start blogging some on my corner of the internet. but so far he's all talk. everyone who wants b to start blogging, leave a comment urging him to start!!!
NOTE: like an idiot, i had not realized that i had to approve everyone's comments before they were published. my bad. now i see people HAVE been commenting. and i love you for that. promise to take care of that ....
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