shame on them.

this is frightening. how is it ok to think that we need to indoctrinate youth in america like they are in pakistan? really? this is really what our nation is coming to? seriously.

these people are exploiting their children for their political beliefs and it's disguisting.

shame on them.

how many years of college does it take to change a lightbulb? is 15 enough? UPDATED

i'm afraid of my car. on a few levels. sometimes on bridges, i have images of being thrown off the side like that yugo that sailed off the mackinac bridge when i was a kid. but more than that, i'm scared of taking care of my car. i can get the oil changed, but whenever something comes up that requires a [gulp] mechanic, it tends to turn me from a confident, educated modern woman to a bumbling, frightened, shaking sucker. and i'm pretty sure they have some kind of sensor at garages that sense fear. i must send it off the chart.

my check engine light has been for years. years. after about six traumatizing visits to the mechanic, i stopped going. now, i get scared when the check engine light turns off. lately, the driver's side headlight has been on the fritz. for a while, just pounding the light a few times would jolt it back to life, like those shock paddles they have in the emergency room. but it stopped working. this morning, out of nowhere after breakfast, B and i had a gust of bravery and stopped at the auto supply store to buy our own headlight. we're smart, educated, clever people. surely we can change a simple headlight, right?

make sure not to touch that glass with your finger, the cashier said. otherwise, it will probably explode. m'kay. B had read the owner's manual, and it looked pretty straightforward. this cashier was probably just trying to freak us out.

so we came home and lugged all our tools down to the parking garage. B was excited to prove his testosterone levels. the excitement quickly turned to cursing those crazy south koreans that built my car. not his car, of course. my car. (note: any of you that have ever enjoyed even one beer with B knows all too well his disdain for foreign cars. he, of course, will only own an american car. he refuses to put his name on the title of the kia. no joke. so, obviously, if this were an american car, the headlight wouldn't have even burned out, according to B. and if it did, changing it would be nothing short of a delight.)

ninety minutes, a brief moment where B thought he should remove the side panel of the car, and a google consultation later, we decided to discard the stupid owner's manual's directions and just took out the battery. from there, it was a quick job to get that old bulb out and shove the new one in. (B touched it quickly, but it didn't explode. nice.) and there was only one little spark when B was rehooking the battery. mission accomplished.

but imagine my surprise when i hopped in the car to run to the grocery store. (B needed celery - he's making homemade chicken soup for dinner. DAMN i love this man.) it wasn't until i was pulling out of the parage garage that i noticed it.

the check engine light.

it isn't on anymore. gulp.

UPDATE: the check engine light is back. phew.

a new, remarkable low

six law student volunteers pretending they are lawyers, one socially awkward professor, lights too low, illegible fake jury directions. a crowd of blank, dull eyes stare back as crazy t states her case.

two in front of me: myspace.
one in front and to the right: paying verizon bill.
even H checked her email.
one in front and to the left: solitaire.
a few over: shopping.
it's an accurate representation.

and me? reading an entire script from an episode of the office. from season 2.

today, ladies and gentleman, we have reached a truly remarkable low.

sigh.

UPDATE: in the front, to the left: reading the maryland poison center website. wtf. maybe brain poisoning. from boredom.

wrest from the cold hands of a right-wing conspiracy

it's a beautiful thing to see lady justice twart the vast right-wing conspiracy that brought down the most popular politician in macomb county, michigan for 20 years ... thank god it took only his political career, not his freedom.

B and i couldn't be happier.

seriously.

i know i've been a little obsessed with my two favorite television shows lately. sorry. the thing is, i only get to watch those two shows these days (plus a little daily show if i can stay up that late, and also football on the weekends, because i can usually do homework at the same time) and so i must embrace them.

right now, i'm listening to the grey's anatomy podcast, which i have missed sorely. (obsessed, see?) i so appreciate the writing that shonda rhimes does, i just love her. but now i love her even more. she was talking about how much of a fool she made of herself when she met the cast of the office, which is her favorite show. seriously. i could be this woman's best friend. we would get along so well. and then she could tell me secrets about mcdreamy and meredith and finn, and it'd be great. for example, she could tell me if that rumor i read that there is going to be a threesome on grey's this season is true. because i really need to know.

at some point i'll maybe try to stop writing only about television. but while i'm on the topic, let me just say that i bought this for A for her birthday. and it got to her before her birthday. this has NEVER happened. usually i'm a couple months late. and so is she. it's our thang. but not this year, oh no.

sunday morning

orient beach, st. martin, the french west indies

my head didn't explode

though i was really scared about it for a while.

i totally skipped class to watch tv last night. i admit it. and you know what? i'm not sorry.

i won't list all the reasons why, because i'm not sure how people will react to my total obsession with grey's anatomy and the office. but there are so many reasons. i think i'll re-watch them both this weekend. a couple times.

but briefly, thank you pam so much for not marrying roy. and also i cried twice during grey's anatomy. again, i admit it.



this actually makes me feel bad for roy. but then i remember that he is a jerk and left pam at a hockey game on their first date. oh, and that jim is awesome. then i don't feel so sorry anymore. (plus there's the fact that this is all fiction, which i realize. seriously.

my head might explode

i can't believe the premiers for the office and grey's anatomy are on the same night.

seriously.

i'm so excited i think my head might explode.

spicy jesus roll

i think it's no secret that i enjoy a little celeb trash from time to time. ah, escapism.

from msn's gossip page:

Stephen Baldwin has a message for Tom Cruise: Let's do lunch, with a little scripture on the side.
"On the Hollywood list of people I pray for often, Tom Cruise is probably No. 1," the born-again "Bio-Dome" D-lister tells Radar. "All I have to say to Tom is, God bless ya, I hope you're having fun. But I'd love through Radar magazine to throw a gauntlet down to Mr. Cruise. I'd love to break bread with him and pray with him, and I'd love for the Holy Spirit of God to reveal the truth to him. That would be an awesome thing."

Baldwin, who describes himself as one of the "new breed of Christians" who "are gettin' ready to kick ass in the name of the Kingdom," then beseeches, "Seriously though, can you put us together? Can we get a little sushi together? I'd like to give him a spicy Jesus roll."

ok, ok. i'll try not to be too snarky here. it's killing me, it really is. with every insulting comment i think of, i can see B shaking his head at me.

but seriously - spicy jesus roll has got to be my new favorite phrase. kick ass in the name of the kingdom - also a gem. (note: i've enjoyed many a spicy roll in my day, but usually ... uh ... tuna. what the hell is this guy talking about?!)

yes, mr. baldwin. your religious fanaticism is superior to mr. cruise's.

it's a sad day when the leaders of the free world engage in such deception and trickery. ~ Major R. Owens

today is one of those days that i just can't think of anything clever to blog about. so i'm going to entrust that to the onion, the home of all things clever and not-too-far-from-being-true.

New Bill Would Defend Marriage From Sharks

WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Republicans cited the saw-edged teeth of the shark community as a direct threat to married couples everywhere.

all the clever has been sucked out of my brain lately - i've been trying to morph myself into a fake lawyer for this fake case i'm working on that believes it's actually a brilliant idea for the government to spy on people's internet activity with no just cause and no warrant. i've even been quoting W and cheney. people, that's not a good day. when you're using W logic to make a legal argument, it's like standing on the edge of a intellectual cliff.

i love ya, H, but this project sucks. please don't ask me to do it again next year.